Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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