what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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