You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
