There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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