He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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