It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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