i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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