Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
