did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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