Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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