ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Even my vagina gasped.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
