That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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