omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
