So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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