my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
