no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize