well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize