Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize