She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
