Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
