everyone is single if you try hard enough
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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