Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
