I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
