I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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