I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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