Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
