better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
vagina is talking i cant
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
dude. I can hear the air.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
