my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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