Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
