Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
