am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
