haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
