we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
