Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
