What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
