More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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