okay pat passed out under dana's car
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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