I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is it penis luge time yet?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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