I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize