Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
