New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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