I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
