goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
