This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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