yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
