Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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