I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
