Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
