I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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