It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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