I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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