i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
