i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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