K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize