I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
