OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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