Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
