it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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