Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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