Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
