Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
