If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize