I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
